Matt: ” Hey Dr. Park, this is Matt from the Vascular Lab. I have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pin and numbness that started 3 days ago. What should I do with her?”
Hannah: ” Hi, this is Hannah. I think you have the wrong number, but I Googled it and I’m pretty sure you need to put a stent in her left radial artery. Best of luck, Matt!”
Matt: “Sorry for the wrong number, Hannah. The patient ended up actually getting a stent. Took about 3 hours longer for trained medical professionals to figure out what took you 3 minutes.”
Hannah: ” Are you recruiting? Ha ha ha!”
Why did the computer show up at work late?
A: It had a hard drive.
A fat man at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that were too tight.
“Was there any damage caused?” the clerk asked.
“Yes,” the fat man said. “This hurts my feelings.”
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with the first one.
“I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” The clerk said.
“No,” said the boy. “That painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in our wall.”
A woman called the airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.
“Sure,” the airline replied, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” and further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was flummoxed: ”I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
One night a woman was putting her 3-year-old daughters to bed, she saw a bright full moon in the sky. So she let her look at the moon for a moment and then asked, “Who made the moon?”
“God,” came her reply.
“And the stars?” the woman asked. Again the answer was, “God.”
She continued with a few more questions: Who made the trees, the flowers, etc. Finally, she asked, “Who made Daddy?”
The little girl, not fooled, and said, “Grandma.”
“Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?” I asked my friend.
“He wants to be a garbageman,” he replied.
“That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.”
“Not really. He thinks that garbageman work only on Tuesdays.”
In a drug store, a scientist asks the pharmacist, “Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid.”
“Do you mean Aspirin?” asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. “That’s it!” The Self-blame scientist says. “I can never remember this name.”
漢娜：「你這是在招募嗎？哈 哈 哈！」
（show up at work late應該是（電腦）「顯示『工作遲滯』；也可擬人化說成『上班遲到』。」）